What Makes a Healthy Marriage? Pt 1

Think about how your body needs certain vitamins, minerals and exercise for it to function at its optimum potential.  A healthy marriage doesn’t just happen, it doesn’t happen by osmosis.  If you want your marriage to grow, thrive and be healthy, certain ingredients should be present. 

If you ask different people what it takes to have a healthy marriage, you may get several different answers.  Here are 4 ingredients which will help you get on the path to a healthy marriage:



When you said “I do” you made a commitment (a promise, a vow, a pledge) to be with your spouse through the thick and thin, good and bad, and sickness and health.  This means you are in it for the long haul; you are not looking for a way out. Instead you are looking for ways to enhance the relationship, ways to work with your spouse not against your spouse.  So recommit to the marriage, yourself, and your spouse that whatever comes, whatever goes it will not shake the foundation of your marriage.



When you are responsible you are accountable to yourself and to your spouse.  You are saying that you will be man or woman enough to take responsibility and be accountable for your actions/words/thoughts/feelings.  Playing the blame game gets you nowhere.  You are the one who CHOOSES how you will act and respond to others.  When you are wrong, admit it and choose to make better choices in the future.



To forgive someone doesn't mean they were right or you condone their behaviors or actions.  Forgiveness is about you, you not holding on to the hurt that was caused and moving forward.  When you are married it is certain you will have some disagreements, you are going to do or say something that your spouse does not like.  Your spouse is likely to do something or say something that may hurt your feelings.  No one is perfect.  So if you can forgive your spouse quickly and not harbor bad feelings or thoughts toward them you will keep yourself from some heartache.  Forgive your spouse and learn to forgive yourself also.



When I say “love” I am not referring to those warm and fuzzy feelings you feel when you see your spouse because those come and go.  I am referring to “love” as a verb.  Love is an action word.  You can tell your mate all day long you love them but if your actions are not aligning with those words, your words will not carry much weight.  Here is a good definition of love:  Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its own praises. It isn't arrogant.  It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs.  It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.  Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.  Love never comes to an end. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (GW)


It’s never too late to make adjustments, tweaks and changes.  If these ingredients are missing in your marriage, why not start today by implementing them so that your marriage can begin to thrive.  There is nothing like a healthy marriage.